The Odd Couple
by Jane-Martin
Summary: The Story Formerly Known As "Late". Jonathan Crane's house has been invaded by the Joker's presence. Poor Jonathan must learn to live with the clown's antics while analyzing his new roommate's interesting mind. Rated T for language NO LONGER A ONE-SHOT
1. Chapter 1: Late

_A/N: Characters here are from the movies made by the Nolan brothers, namely, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. ( I know this category is called "Batman The Animated Series", but I couldn't find a category for those movies when I submitted this story, so I'm sorry if I offend anyone.)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or any characters in the Batman universe. Batman, Scarecrow, Joker, and all characters, names, and places related to it belong to its creators. All rights reserved, yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea._

Jonathon Crane was running late. He was never late. His schedule now was as it always was; wake up at 6:30 in the morning, shower and dress, eat, and be out the door by 7:00. That was how it was every morning for five years.

However, with the arrival of his new "roommate" (Crane only referred to him as this because he lacked a better word), that whole schedule was thrown out the window.

The Joker knocked on his door three weeks after they escaped from Arkham, barged in, and announced that he was going to be staying there since he had no other lodgings. Before Crane could object, he had offered to bring in people for use as test subjects. Of course, Crane could always use new test subjects, and since Joker offered, why not?

Lately, however, poor Jonathon felt he was being influenced by his new roommate's lifestyle. For one thing, he no longer showered every day, which left his usually beautifully clean hair oily and greasy, like Joker's hair. Another thing he noticed was the change in his sleeping schedule. Late nights he could handle, but staying up until his alarm clock went off at 6:30 was another matter entirely. He also noticed that his diet had changed. His refrigerator, which normally consisted of fruit, vegetables, and tea (to stimulate the mind), now held an assortment of caffeinated sodas and meat. Crane, being a vegetarian, couldn't stand it; however, he had lost that argument. Joker was a stubborn little prick when he wanted to be.

The one thing he didn't understand was why he was running late. Joker understood punctuality as well; in fact, that may have been the only good quality about him. No matter what, he was on time.

So why was Crane, who had kept the same damn schedule for five years, who had gotten a reasonable amount of sleep the night before, who got up with plenty of time to follow his normal morning routine, _running out the door at 7:30?_

Damn it all, he had suppliers to meet! They did _not _like to be kept waiting!

As he was stowing cash into his briefcase, he realized he was missing something. "Damn it all! Where's my mask??" he shouted.

From the couch, Joker startled awake and yawned. "Good God, Crane, what's with the yelling?" he complained. He usually never woke up until around noon.

"Joker, help me find my mask!"

"What?"

"NOW!!"

"Ok, ok, keep your pants on", Joker grumbled as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Cracking his neck he looked over. "It's on the kitchen table", he grumbled.

Crane looked down, and saw his mask was right next to his briefcase.

"Asshole", Joker mumbled before lying down again.

"Shut up! Ah, damn it, I'm _late!!_" He shouted as he bolted out the door.

Joker sighed and got back up, walked over to the kitchen table and picked up Crane's car keys. "Three, two, one..." He looked at the door just as Crane burst in and threw the keys at him. Crane nodded 'thanks' before rushing off again.

Joker laughed quietly and looked at the clock. It read 7:32.

Then he looked at his watch. It read 7:00.

"Right on time", he chuckled. It was so much fun to jerk Jonathon's chain. Of course Jonathon would turn on his car, check the clock on the radio, and realize he'd been duped. But until then, Joker could kick back and relax, and enjoy that warm, wonderful feeling he always got when he pulled a prank on his roommate.

Hey, Crane was asking for it. He really needed to lighten up sometimes.

_A/N: TAH-DAH!! My first ever fanfic! confetti Please, please, PLEASE be brutally honest when reviewing this! The whole reason I set up this account is to better my writing, and I need you guys to help me. Feel free to crush my spirit, I'll only cry a little. :)_

_Thank you all so much for your time!_


	2. Chapter 2: Dominance

A/N: After such enthusiastic reviews, I have decided no longer to make this a one-shot

_A/N: After such enthusiastic reviews, I have decided no longer to make this a one-shot. I wrote this chapter in the college library; I was getting rather odd stares from people who apparently think laughter is a bad thing. Anyways, thanks again for your reviews!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, but I sure as hell wish I owned the Joker. :purrs: ERRRM... hehe, anyways, I don't own any of the characters/places in here._

_Mountain Dew belongs to Pepsico; Doritos belongs to... whoever makes Doritos, I think it's Frito-Lay..._

_Let the madness begin!!_

--

Joker sat on the couch that was previously Jonathon's, humming and sharpening his knife while listening to the boring news channel. So far all the newsies had to say was that there was a mass breakout from Arkham after one of the outer walls had "mysteriously" been blown up.

"Psh, 'mysteriously', AS IF!!" he shouted at the newscaster, Summer Gleeson, with a smile on his face. "HA, you twat, it's not much of a mystery when one of the escapees was a pyromaniac, is it?" He sniggered and returned to sharpening his knife. This one in particular was his favorite; it was small, not very menacing at first, with a slit in the middle so that it resembled a carrot peeler, but it was still his favorite. Size didn't mean much to him, after all. Look at Jonathon, for instance; the guy was only 5'9" and he still had more balls than most of the people Joker worked with...

Speaking of which, he should've been home by now... He looked at his watch, snickering at memories of that morning. "Ah, Johnny, you really do need to lighten up." His watch read 9:30. "Holy smokes, that late already? Huh, I haven't even eaten..."

Outside, he could hear the screech of tires, then Jonathon's angry ramblings about how he was going to kill a clown.

"Speak of the devil", Joker muttered, putting his knife down.

Jonathon slammed the door shut. "JOKER!" he yelled.

Joker came bounding to the door like a sarcastic puppy. "_Hi_, Johnny! How was your day?" he said, smiling sweetly.

"You ass! You messed with my clocks, didn't you? You even screwed with my watch and my car's clock!" Jonathon screamed, waving his arms about.

"Oh, whoops, I thought I left that one alone..." Joker mumbled.

"So you _did_ do it! Damn it, Joker! I was half an hour off the whole day, you little bastard!" Jonathon screamed louder, his face turning beet red.

_Anal retentive prick, what's the harm in a little joke?_ Joker contemplated the consequences of saying this, but instead said, "But, Johnny, I thought you would've been happy to know you weren't late!" He found Crane's reaction to this much more satisfying.

Jonathon's eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of his skull, and his face became, if possible, even more red. Joker strongly suppressed the urge to laugh. "Don't even _think_ about trying to worm your way out of this, you creep!" Jonathon said menacingly.

Joker cleared his throat. "Now, Johnny, let's not blow this out of proportion", he said calmly, raising his hands non-aggressively. "It was just a harmless little prank, that's all. Just take a deep breath..."

"Stop calling me Johnny!" Crane snapped.

"Ok, ok, _Jonathon_. Happy?" Joker said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"No! Go and fix my clocks!" Jonathon barked.

Joker stared at him incredulously. "Excuse me?" he hissed.

"You heard me, **go fix them**!" Jonathon hissed back, baring his teeth.

Joker slammed his fist down on the table, returning Crane's menacing glare. It was a simple enough request, 'go and fix the clocks you messed with', but it was the _principle_ of the matter that made the two men stare each other down. Jonathon was giving an order. Joker did not _follow_ orders, he _gave_ them. Jonathon knew about Joker's aversion to taking orders, yet gave them anyway. Now it was a battle to see who was in control.

Then the phone rang.

"Go get it", Joker muttered with a sneer, his voice thick like velvet.

"No, _you_ go get it", Crane retorted, his voice flinty, returning the sneer. Their eyes were still locked.

"It's _your_ house, Crane." Joker took a step closer.

"_You _live here too, _Joker_." Jonathon took a step closer, so their noses were almost touching. _God, his breath smells like old onions!_ Jonathon thought.

_Heh, a little heavy on the cologne, don't you think, Crane?_ Joker thought. Then he remembered his earlier thoughts on Crane: _5'9" and he has more balls than most of the people I've worked with..._

Maybe that was why he decided to move in with Crane instead of trying to manipulate other inmates to serve him. Maybe that was why he helped Crane escape in the first place. He respected the guy, a lot more than he respected most other people- hell, humanity in general (except for Batman, of course).

They stared at each other (taking shallow breaths) as the phone nearly rang itself off the hook. Then Crane blinked; "Wait... who would be calling? I mean, we've both got cell phones, and I don't give out the house number..."

Joker blinked as well. "Yeah, I don't even _know_ the house number..."

Both men turned to stare at the phone... and then both jumped at it.

"Give it here!"

"No, I'll get it!"

Finally Joker gave Crane a shove, placing his hand on his head and holding him at arm's length while picking up the phone. "Ahem. Hello?" he said, deepening his voice.

"Hello sir! You've just won free tickets to Disneyland-"

"HELL NO." And with that, Joker slammed the phone down.

"Would you let go already?" Jonathon complained, trying to disentangle Joker's wiry fingers from his hair.

"Huh? Oh, yeah", Joker said distractedly, letting go. "Telemarketer."

"Ah, I hadn't thought of them. Well then, since telemarketers are the only people who know this number, I don't think it would be worth it to even bother answering the house phone from now on", Crane stated in his professional voice, straightening his glasses and coat.

"Yeah, I guess", Joker shrugged. Damn it, now the mood was ruined! If he could find where that telemarketer was he'd carve that little bitch into so many pieces it would take the cops 20 years to find them all!

But for now, it was getting late, and Joker was getting hungry. He stalked to the fridge and pulled out a Mountain Dew and...

That was all there was.

"Hey, Crane, we're outta food!" Joker said from inside the fridge.

Crane gave a expansive sigh. "No we're not, I just went shopping! Look, there should be some salad still in there", he said wearily.

Joker recoiled. "Oh, hell, no!" he shouted, making a face.

"What?"

"I'm not a rabbit like you, Crane! I need real food, damn it!" Joker yelled.

"Salad _is_ real food, it's good for you!" Crane yelled back. "It's better than most of the crap you eat anyways", he muttered under his breath.

"Ah, fuck it!" Joker closed the fridge and walked to the pantry pulling out a bag of Doritos.

Crane groaned in disgust. "Those things are so gross! How can you stand eating that junk?"

"This junk tastes pretty damn good to me, bunny boy", Joker sneered, biting a chip in Crane's face.

"You know, with a diet like that, you're going to get fat", Crane said disapprovingly.

"That's why I pound caffeine, genius. It stimulates the metabolism", Joker retorted with a sarcastic emphasis on 'genius'.

Crane sighed, rubbing his temple. "Ugh, I'm going to bed."

"Nighty-night, little bunny!" Joker taunted, his mouth full of chips and soda.

Crane turned and replied, "Nighty-night, shit breath!" before slamming his bedroom door.

Joker blinked. "Shit breath?..." He breathed into his hand and took a whiff, and nearly passed out due to the _eau du Dorito_. Glaring at Crane's closed door, he took another swig of Mountain Dew.

--

He tried to go back to sleep, but his alarm clock was very insistent.

Groaning, Jonathon shut his noisy alarm off. He looked at the clock; it read 6:30 AM, just as it always did when he woke up in the morning.

But when he looked out the window, it was a lot darker than usual, and it sure as hell didn't feel like 6:30.

He looked back at the clock...

_Clocks..._

"Joker."

Sighing, he fixed his clock, reset his alarm, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

--

_A/N: Damn it, it is HARD to write dialogue for Crane! I hope I did him justice..._

_Anyways, I tried to put just a little more emphasis on the "Friendship" half of this odd couple without making it fluffy. I've always thought Crane would be one of the only people Joker would respect, since he's smart and, let's face it, he's ballsy. Even in the cartoons, he's scrawny and gangly and not really all that menacing, but he's still so kick ass! AUGH... I dunno._

_Hehehe, I wonder how many people caught on to the Summer Gleeson thing. She's really the newscaster in B:TAS. Not too many people know that..._

_Anyways, please be BRUTALLY HONEST with your reviews. I can't improve my writing if I can't get criticism. Please no flaming; if you don't like it, then tell me why!_

_Thanks again for your time!_


	3. Chapter 3: Fear

_A/N: This one's not as funny, and yes I'm still using the fact that Joker's messed with the clocks. I'm sure you all are getting sick of it by now, so this is the last chapter that mentions it. Anyway, it is more serious, and it does feature Joker being creepy..._

_I better shut up before I spoil the whole chapter for you._

_Disclaimer: Batman's not mine, Joker's not mine, and Scarecrow's not mine. If I did own them, then Batman would be dead and this would not be a fanfiction._

_On with the show!!_

--

It started out as a very bad and confusing day.

After resetting his clock thirty minutes behind, Jonathon woke up again and went about his daily routine. As he sipped his coffee and read yesterday's paper (he didn't exactly have time to read it yesterday), he noticed something strange. The kitchen clock read 7:45.

But that wasn't right. It can't have been right.

He walked back to his bedroom and checked his bedroom clock; it read 6:45.

He walked back out and moved to the couch where Joker slept, noticing an odd smell emanating from that part of the house. Joker snored softly, his hair parted neatly around his face, his makeup smudged. He looked almost peaceful.

Almost.

Jonathon smacked Joker's knee with the newspaper. "Joker, wake up!" he commanded.

Joker snorted and mumbled incoherently, "Nyaa... mmm... meh." He rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head.

"Joker! Wake up!" Jonathon yelled as he smacked his knee again. "Now!"

"Urrrb... meh... wha?" Joker rolled back over, opened one eye and stared at Crane blearily.

"Did you fix the clocks like I asked you to last night?" he demanded.

"Fnuckin crocks again, Crane?" Joker slurred.

"Did you or did you not?" Crane urged.

"No!" the other shouted indignantly.

Crane sighed. "How far ahead did you set them?" he asked.

"Meh... Half an hour, why?"

"Then why does that clock read 7:45? I got up at the right time..." Then Crane realized something. He looked up at the ceiling and asked wearily, "You didn't mess with my bedroom clock, did you?"

"Nah, I didn't. That's how the joke works; you leave the alarm clock alone, so they get up at the right time, but then they feel rushed when they look at the other clocks" Joker rambled blearily.

Jonathon took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. "So, it's really 7:15 right now, am I right?"

Joker looked at his watch. "Yeah. So why..." Then he started laughing. "Oh, Johnny! You really are running late this time, and it's your own damn fault!"

Something inside Jonathon's normally cool head exploded, and he did something he would never have done for something so trivial. But that damned psychopathic clown was asking for it. He started this whole mess, and he brought it on himself.

Jonathon calmly put on his mask and sprayed Joker in the face with his fear toxin.

He took delight in watching the clown fall off the couch coughing. Any moment now, the drug would take effect.

Any moment now... Wait, why wasn't it happening yet? Joker was still doubled up on the ground, coughing and sputtering. Not screaming, not cowering, not even flinching, just gagging.

Crane took a step back. What was going on?

Finally Joker took a gulp of air before coughing out, "Fuck, Jonathon, what the hell? Ugh, is that that fear gas you keep working on?" Then he smacked his lips like he had just eaten a bug. "What do you put in that stuff? You sprayed it right in my mouth! It's got a funky aftertaste! Ugh!" He spat and cleared his throat, his face distorted. Finally he composed himself and stood.

Jonathon's eyes and mouth were open as he stared in disbelief; he was glad that the clown couldn't see his face. Joker didn't look afraid at all, even with a concentrated dose. In fact, he looked... _pissed_.

"Crane, don't you ever fucking do that again, d'you hear me? You do that again I'll beat the living shit out of you!" Joker growled. He pushed past Jonathon and went into the bathroom; Jonathon could hear him turn on the sink.

At that point, Crane decided it was best to leave.

--

Jonathon drove at least ten miles from the house, nearly hitting at least three people. When the fourth person honked at him for drifting between lanes, he pulled over and rested his head in his hands.

"Calm down, Crane. Calm down!" he told himself over and over, repeating it like a mantra. It didn't do anything to slow his heart rate down.

He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Joker was unaffected by fear! That man just was not human!

"Crane, _calm down!"_ he finally shouted. Oh, that damned clown! He was so affected by _everything_ the Joker did; his pranks made him say the most vulgar and vile words (which was completely out of character for him); everything he said angered him until he screamed like a child. That clown was _getting_ to him.

And he had nothing that could affect the Joker. _Nothing._ He had always kept his fear toxin handy in case the Joker got out of control; it was his last defense against the sociopath. He had wasted that in a fit of anger, only to find out that it didn't work on him.

Crane looked down at his hands, prying them from the steering wheel. He was shaking violently.

Was he..._afraid?_

"That's impossible", Crane snapped. "What do you have to be afraid of?"

_"I'll beat the living shit out of you."_ He was angry when he said that, but it still sounded so... casual.

Picture perfect sociopath...

Crane smacked himself on the head. "Of _course_ he wouldn't be afraid of anything! He's a sociopath! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he screamed as he smacked himself on the head repeatedly. He stopped and took deep breaths. Then he smiled. "Crane, you cannot let him get to you. That's what he wants. You have got to keep control of yourself. That should get to him eventually; act like him. Stop caring about everything he says and does."

He smiled again. "That should get to him."

--

Though he vowed not to let the Joker get under his skin, Crane still felt it best not to return to the house until well after midnight. Hopefully Joker would have gotten bored and gone out to cause trouble, or go to sleep.

He turned off his headlights before pulling into the driveway so the light wouldn't wake him up. Very quietly he crept into the house, even going so far as to take his shoes off before walking in. Not that he was afraid or anything, but after that morning's episode, he did not exactly want to have a chat with Joker right now.

"Good evening, Jonathon", Joker's velvet voice resounded from the darkness.

_Oh, great.._

"Good evening, Joker", Jonathon answered. He fumbled for the light switch, but _someone_ grabbed his wrist. He felt Joker's breath on his neck as he grabbed his shoulder and pulled him close.

"You left in such a hurry this morning, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye", Joker hissed in his ear. "Then I wondered; 'Why would he leave like that? I mean, surely he would've wanted to see the results of his little _experiment.'"_ Jonathon struggled to free himself, which only resulted in Joker tightening his grip. "Then it hit me. The toxin didn't work, and you got..." he chuckled, "_scared._"

Jonathon forced a laugh out. "Me, scared? Really, Joker, that's ridiculous!" He squirmed, pushing away.

"Oh, no, it's not! Scarecrow, the Master of Fear, has finally met someone he couldn't scare! Now, it's only natural that this would _unnerve_ you; after all, it's worked on all your other patients; even the Batman freaked out; so why not me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Joker! You're not my patient, we're just roommates", Crane shouted, beginning to panic.

Joker wouldn't let go. He could sense that his prey was afraid, and he was going to exploit it in any way possible, enjoying every minute of it. "Now I see why you're so obsessed with people's fear; you can control them. I see how much you like to control people." At this point he let Crane go. "But you can't control me", he smirked.

Crane rubbed his sore wrist and took a deep breath. "Now see here, I've had just about enough of your bunkum! How dare you besmirch my reputation with such accusations! I never intended to spray you, my hand just slipped! Now if you don't mind, I've had a long day, and I'm going to bed!" With that he stomped off to his bedroom. "And another thing; your constant halitosis is repulsive! I strongly suggest you improve your dental hygiene! Good night!" he stated loudly before he shut his bedroom door.

Joker burst out laughing. "Good night Jonathon!" he called out before flopping down on his couch.

The Master of Fear had mastered fears of his own.

_A/N: Crane's dialogue is so fucking hard to write. Of course I felt it out of character for Crane to curse! He's a professional, he doesn't stoop to such low and vulgar terms! Of course, anyone living with Joker would go nuts, huh?_

_Be brutally honest with your reviews! No flames, please; if you didn't like it, I want to know why! And if you have any ideas for how the Odd Couple can drive each other crazy, feel free to let me know!_

_Thanks again for your time and your support!_


	4. Chapter 4: Touch

_A/N: Ah, more madness! I started writing this one at the DMV while my friend was taking her permit test, and finished it at the college library. Why do people always give you funny looks whenever you smile in public?_

_Anyways, special thanks to my friend Thian who helped me come up with the dialogue._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, I never have. If I did, this pairing would be canon. (omg, bad fangirl moment!)_

_On with the show!!._

--

Jonathon noticed that Joker was up early that morning, and he could smell the distinct odor of gunpowder before he left for a meeting with his suppliers. When he returned home that evening, he was nearly bowled over by an overenthusiastic and extremely caffeinated Joker.

"JOHNNY!!" he shouted joyfully as he bounded to the door.

Crane jumped in surprise. "AH! What?"

"I need your keys!" he said ecstatically.

"What for?" Crane asked suspiciously, eyeing him closely.

Joker bonked Jonathon on the head and stated, "Uh, for your car, dumb ass. I need to borrow your car."

"Excuse me?" Crane scoffed.

Joker sighed expansively. "Ok, let me try this again. I", he pointed at himself, "Need," he held his hands out wide, "Your", he pointed at Jonathon, "Car!", he mimicked holding a steering wheel.

Jonathon eyed him as though he were looking at a young, hot-blooded teenager instead of a murderous, hot-blooded sociopath, and responded with "No way", he shook his head, "in Hell", he pointed down, "will you", he pointed at Joker, "take my car!", he pointed to himself before he mimicked holding a steering wheel.

"Johnny-"

"Joker, if you don't stop calling me Johnny, I swear..."

"Jonathon!" the clown shouted. Then he said, as he made a grab for Crane's keys, "Look, I really need your car, I've got a job tonight, so unless you want to come with me-"

"Why, what a truly marvelous idea!" Crane cheered. "Of course I'll come with you! It'll give me a chance to pick up a few more test subjects while we're out!"

"Wait, what-"

"Well, we should be going, come on, get in the car!"

"Now wait just one damn minute, Crane!" Joker growled.

"Why, whatever is the matter, Joker?" Crane asked innocently. "You do have to be somewhere tonight, correct?"

"I'm driving", Joker stated flatly.

"But-"

_"I'm driving, Crane._"

"All right, you're driving", Crane relented. After all, he had won half the battle already, and he was getting tired. Falling asleep at the wheel with Joker as a passenger, although an unlikely situation, was not a fate that Crane desired.

Both men climbed into the car, Joker fiddling with the mirrors and scooting the seat back. "Damn, Crane, how can you drive so close to the steering wheel?" he complained.

"I'm slightly shorter than you are, that's how", Crane said stiffly.

"Ok, let's roll!" Joker shouted gleefully as he shifted the car into reverse and slammed his foot down on the accelerator. He cackled as Jonathon yelled in surprise, jerked the wheel, shifted to drive, and slammed the accelerator down again.

"Joker! Unless you want to pay for my car's maintenance, be gentle!" Crane squawked.

"Heh, gentle? Is that how you like it, Crane?" Joker purred.

Crane turned his face away from him as flushed a deep shade of red. "I refuse to respond to that."

Joker laughed hysterically, pounding his hand on the steering wheel. Just as Crane was about to tell him again to be gentle, he noticed how dirty Joker's coat was. It was dusty and covered with hair and little balls of lint. Unconsciously, he reached up and began to brush the dust off of Joker's shoulder.

"Crane! What the fuck are you doing?" Joker yelled, his laughter immediately gone.

"I'm brushing the dirt off of your coat. Hold still", Crane answered, picking at the tiny hairs protruding from his sleeve.

Joker pushed his arm away. "Knock it off, asshole! I'm driving!" he snapped.

Crane's hand resumed its brushing. "Look, I'm just-"

"Stop it!" Joker yelled.

"Why are you so dirty all the time?" Crane mused.

"Would you stop touching me?!" Joker yelled in a high pitched voice.

"I'm just making you look neater!" Crane stated, brushing his back.

"STOPPIT!!" Joker screamed, punching Crane in the arm. He glared at Cane once more before turning his glare to the road.

Crane hissed in pain, rubbing the sore spot, when something else hit him. Why did Joker react like that? The yelling was one thing, but the screaming and the punching were another matter entirely...

A smile slowly crept on his face as a thought came to his head.

"Hey, Joker?"

"Yes?"

"Where exactly is this job you're going to?"

"The bank on Fifth and Lincoln, why?"

"In that case", Jonathon said, resting his hand on Joker's shoulder, "shouldn't you turn left here?"

Joker flinched ever so slightly at the touch, growling, "I know how to get there, Crane! I make a right turn at the next light!" He tried shoving the offending hand away, but, just like he did the other night, Crane tightened his grip.

"Are you certain it isn't a left?"

"Yes!" Joker hissed, pushing Crane's hand off. "I am certain it is not a left!"

Crane sat back, suppressing the urge to snigger. His smile, however, had grown. That little flinch confirmed it. Here at last was something he could use against the Joker! Who would've thought that a guy who ran up to people, grabbed them by the neck, and waved a knife in their faces would've hated being touched? He tried to look over at Joker's face, but it was hidden behind his greasy green hair.

His greasy, green, unkempt hair that was just begging to be brushed...

Crane couldn't resist. With a shameless smirk on his face, he reached over and brushed Joker's hair behind his ear.

"CRANE! What the fuck are you doing?" Joker screamed, throwing his hand up to block Crane's advance. "I mean, I know you can't get enough of me, but wait until after the job!"

Now it was Crane's turn to laugh, a rusty sounding bark that sounded like a machine that hadn't been used in years. "You really don't like it when I touch you, do you? I think you hate being touched in general!"

Joker glanced at him, a quizzical look on his face. "Why does that sound so dirty?" he muttered.

"Joker, can you get your mind out of the gutter, just for one minute?" Crane sighed. "I mean, you don't like it when other people touch you, do you?"

Joker's face twisted into a scowl, and he began poking Crane's shoulder. "There, do you like that? Huh?" His finger began poking Crane's leg. "Or what about that, huh, do you like that??"

"Ow, stop it! That's not what I'm doing at all! I'm doing this", Crane said, and began to brush Joker's coat and pants again.

"ARGH! STOPPIT!"

Then the strangest thing happened. Neither of them could say what caused it, but the next thing they knew, their car was spinning out of control and headed for a building. Both men yelled in surprise, Joker trying to keep the car in control, and Crane, acting on instinct, grabbed onto Joker's arm.

The car finally skidded to a stop, parallel parked next to a closed shop with a large 'For Lease' sign in front of it.

They both opened their eyes, and realized what exactly the other was doing.

Jonathon was clinging onto Joker's arm as if for dear life; Joker had his other arm wrapped around Crane in an accidental embrace.

Both men turned to stare at each other's eyes.

"I think we missed our turn", Crane muttered.

"Crane?" Joker whispered.

"Yes?" There was something behind his brown eyes that Crane didn't like, something... Crane couldn't quite tell what it was. Why was Joker staring at him like that? Crane tried to blink, but those eyes were so mesmerizing...

"Get the fuck off of my arm."

Jonathon started laughing as he let go. He couldn't stop; the entire night had been so ridiculous!

Joker sullenly started the car again, then shifted it into drive and drove on. He said as threateningly as he could as his mouth twisted into a smile, "It's not funny Crane. Stop laughing. Stop..." Finally he smirked.

As the duo pulled up to a stop light, they both took a deep breath, and looked at each other. Coming off of their adrenaline high, they realized just how close to death they both had come, and as they stared into each other's eyes they realized just how boring life would be without the other.

Snickering, Joker patted Crane's shoulder.

"Heh, can't get enough of me, can you Joker?" Jonathon smiled, mimicking Joker's mocking tone and smirk.

Joker's face twisted into a pinched look, and, mimicking Crane's voice, "I refuse to respond."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

--

_A/N: GAH!! I'm finally fucking done with this chapter! And, I say TO BE CONTINUED because the nest chapter will involve just what exactly the job entails._

_Special thanks to my friend for helping me come up with this whole situation!! :blowskiss:_

_Rate and review, please! And, no flames- if you don't like it, tell me why!_

_Thanks for your time!_


End file.
